Epiphanies
by Eets
Summary: J/A. What Jeff really thought about finding that hair by the sink.


Jeff began undressing as soon as he had stalked out of the elevator and towards his room. The stench of scotch, usually so appealing to him, was far less appetising when emitting from his newly-bought Armani shirt.

What the hell was Annie playing at? It was Jeff who pretended to be in various relationships – inventing dead spouses and jealous exes, as and when he needed to bed the next woman. Annie had no reason to sabotage his chat with Lauren – their relationship seemed to have reached a good, balanced stage recently. He sighed as he pushed open the door to his hotel room; things with the study group could never, ever be simple.

Grabbing a towel from the foot of his bed, Jeff tried to rescue his shirt, although he feared the effort to be in vain. It was with a spurt of frustration that he recalled telling Annie on the drive over here that he had only just bought it, in time for their ski-trip.

This needed to be sorted out; Jeff did not like sitting here, morose, pondering on Annie's actions. They spoke so much more these days – ever since their model UN exchange. He thought things were better, he definitely enjoyed being more open with her. They were closer than ever and Jeff wanted to maintain that wonderful form of relationship they had built. Close enough to share lifts and laughs and plan Halloween together. The thought of losing that made Jeff grimace.

Resolved on talking things through with his friend, Jeff opened the door between their rooms.

"Annie?"

He had expected to see her sitting at the foot of her bed – he had steeled himself in preparation for the Disney face. Instead there were two robes and… two red roses. A dinner set up with candles and a decanter of scotch. Jeff breathed out an involuntary, "ah".

Things could never, ever be simple.

Perhaps if he just ignored it, everything would carry on as nicely as before. That had been his tactic thus far – red roses and romance had been left unspoken since model UN. At the very least, the scotch had reminded Jeff that his shirt was rapidly drying in a stiff sheet and he should work on salvaging it. However the bathroom only hit the message home harder, that ignorance wasn't going to work much longer.

The shared bathroom between their rooms had, as advertised, a shower, toilet and a sink. Jeff's side, claimed as they had first arrived at the convention, had just a toothbrush by it. He hadn't been anticipating a long stay here. Annie, on the other hand, had decked her half out with a neat, violet sponge bag, toothbrush and make-up bag. Annie had evidently been struck by the difference between the sparse versus the homely sink and had worked her… couple-y magic here too.

Jeff touched the hair lightly and the confusion he felt strengthened tenfold. After a momentary pause to check the hair remaining on his scalp, he returned to his own room and sat down heavily. Leaning back on his chair, brow furrowed, he readied himself for his least favourite activity – confronting and analysing his emotions. If he wasn't Jeff Winger, he might have considered thinking about what Britta would say. But Jeff Winger he was, and that would never, ever change.

Yet in some ways, it really had. As he had surveyed Annie's room – taken in the matching coffee cups, the matching robes, it hadn't been horror that he had felt, or even embarrassment. A year ago, it would have been. Annie's way of wearing her heart upon her sleeve had once made Jeff feel mildly nauseous. He laughed to himself slightly, remembering her clinginess and her heart-eyes – things weren't like that anymore. This play-act was an exception and now Jeff saw no threat in it. Annie had definitely changed over the year. He had never liked her more. (Emotional Epiphany One. We'll start slowly, Jeff, he told himself).

It was hardly as though the sight of the matching couples gear had inspired pleasure or happiness within him. Perhaps, curiosity was the word, or realisation – the realisation that he and Annie could not continue forever in this blissful state of in-between; all the benefits of being close, without emotional commitment or the complications of romance. But Annie did still like him in that way, that much was now clear. (Emotional Epiphany Two? Jeff wasn't sure if analysing someone else's feelings counted).

So how did _he_ feel? Primarily, confused, both by how he felt towards her and by his reaction to her imagined scene of marital life. Annie was very important to him, Jeff knew and accepted this. He cared for her a lot and he did not care about many other humans. (Although this isn't true, Jeff, you care about the whole of the study group – the whole of Greendale). How far could that care extend? That was the real question. If his feelings were not 'the real deal' – Jeff was not even sure if your emotions for another person could ever be that strong – then he could not consider anything more than a friendship with Annie. (Emotional Epiphany Three).

Jeff had never been in a relationship – not a real one, which involved caring. Professor Slater was the closest he had ever been to a conventional, loving bond and he had ended that…. By kissing Annie. Jeff was sure there was a message in that somewhere. What he felt for Annie had to be utterly true otherwise he would hurt her and lose her friendship and let down the whole study group.

Even if he did _love_ Annie, journeying into a romantic relationship with her would be a trial. It would be so hard for him and, therefore, for her too. Anyway, it wasn't exactly as if she was emotionally secure and stable. She hadn't been in many real, genuine relationships either. This could be a recipe for disaster.

Yet Jeff was able to sit and calmly consider this concept as a realistic option. A romantic relationship between them was not an inevitability, not by any means. He liked Annie, Annie liked him and he would do everything he felt he reasonably could to have her in his life. It wasn't really an emotional epiphany but it was still an important thought, Jeff felt.

Without pausing to change his shirt (the scotch was dry now, not staining the navy material, but giving an unpleasant sticky and crispy texture), Jeff headed off to find Annie. His approximation of her had not been far off – she had a Disney-esque face ready, although she was sat in the bar as opposed to her room. Time for more sentimental dissection.

"Well, I just went upstairs and saw your room – saw the two robes, the two coffee cups (one with lipstick marks, one without). And I saw actual hair that looked a lot like mine on my side of the sink, so I have some questions…."

"Oh, God…" Annie interjected, although with no excuses or self-righteousness, Jeff noted. He was not angry, and had never been, about this and so he kept his tone light.

"Is that actually my hair? And if so, did it fall out naturally? Because if it did, you need to tell me right now 'cause I have to call science." He raised his eyebrows and hoped the joke was coming across. She looked nervous.

"Also, what the hell is going on?"

Annie nodded slightly; she hadn't expected him to dance around the subject forever (in fact, she hadn't expected his response at all. More vitriol and exasperation had featured in Annie's imagination).

She took a breath before speaking, "Alright, I _may_ have been play-acting that we were married and then the staff thought you were cheating and I had to save face."

It sounded far more embarrassing out-loud than the act had felt in her head. To Annie, her little fantasy world had, of course, seemed childish but not unreasonable.

Jeff paused for a moment, but her words were hardly a surprise. "Do I have to worry about this?" He didn't think he did and her answer reassured him further.

"No, I was just… daydreaming," Annie wanted to convey herself coherently. It hadn't meant anything, she had moved on from Jeff a lot over time. Not in the sense that she liked him less, quite the opposite. But now her feelings were founded on friendship, and liking the person behind the cool Jeff Winger façade, not girlish idolisation.  
"I mean, I've married you at least half a dozen times!" True. "And Troy, and Zac Efron. Mostly Zac Efron."

Annie smiled to herself – all of it was true. She was a typical girl; when Shirley announced her wedding, Annie had pulled out an insanely huge scrapbook of ideas. All girls dreamt of marrying celebrities and the men they fancied – it was normal. There was nothing strange or obsessive about her in particular at all.

And Jeff recognised that – Annie was a romantic person. He had accepted her feelings towards him, and the thought of her daydreams did not worry him at all; it was simply the way she was and always would be. In fact, he was more concerned by his hypothetical rival.

"Does Zac get a drink thrown in his face?" Jeff asked jokingly. Annie felt a weight lift from her that she had not previously been aware of – he wasn't angry.

She met his eye and they laughed – both on the same wavelength. When she thought about it, they had always been in sync like this, the perfect duet. Things were easier now though and Annie felt like they were more on the same track every day.

It was in this spirit that she decided to carry on with her self-explanation, "I don't know! I guess I was a little hurt that you ditched me…"

Jeff swallowed – he hadn't even considered that. He had already let her down, hadn't he?

"I mean, we're friends, right? Would it have been _that_ painful to hang out together?"

No, it wouldn't have been but it hadn't occurred to him to hang out with Annie at this geeky convention. They would have had fun and he would have enjoyed himself but his inane and uncontrollable desire to remain aloof and cool could not allow him to do that. The loss of his superiority was a very hard blow to imagine taking. Jeff was not yet ready to be with Annie, despite how much he enjoyed being with her and the fact that, undeniably, he cared about her more than most other people he knew.

Instead of saying this, he simply couldn't, Jeff tried to show he the depth of his feelings by returning to their previous theme.

"Well, I can tell you one thing your fantasy got wrong: if we were married, you wouldn't find me flirting with another woman in a hotel bar."

That was the absolute truth. If he ever married Annie, it would be because he knew he felt so strongly about her that no woman could ever tempt him away. He would only commit to her if he knew this with infallible certainty. If he ever married anyone, it would be her. (Emotional Epiphany Four. But repress it, Jeff. Marriage is not your suit).

She smiled at him – her most genuine smile, tight-lipped and teeth hidden; the smile that acknowledged all of this, the things proclaimed and that unsaid. Jeff was not worried about her.

"But there are a lot of things that you think are fun, that I wouldn't wanna do because I'm-"

"Older?"

No, don't beat that dead horse.

"-not lame."

A smile in her eyes this time – they understood each other a little better with every minute spent together, Jeff thought.

"Do you want to hang out now? Can I buy you a drink, what do you want?"

Annie bit her lip, concealing a grin at her immediate thought. For a second, she thought about trying something more sophisticated. What would be the point? Her and Jeff are different people and they are two different types of personality that work well together. If she tried to change herself, then they would not co-exist so harmoniously. (Plus the smell of the scotch soaked shirt burnt her nostrils and Annie remembered the burning in her throat was ten times worse).

So she simply said it.

"An appletini…." The smirk in her voice let him know, Annie was aware of herself.

The smile didn't leave his face and Jeff barely worked the faux-disgust into his voice to disguise his good humour, "Oh, God! Don't make me order that! Please?"

Disney face, with intent to kill. "Please?"

He screwed up his face and got up from the sofa more than willingly. They will relapse into the perfect in-between again and that made Jeff horribly happy. It works, for now, because they harmonise well. Everything was clear between them.

As he walked away, Jeff heard her laugh softly, "an appletini"

Their grins of supressed laughter mimic one other perfectly.

* * *

**AN:** I have never written anything Community before - because there was nothing I could possibly improve upon. Season 4 is improving episode-to-episode but I finally felt I could offer my own interpretation of various scenes. I hope it's okay?

Elle xoxo


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